omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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