Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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