Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
