i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
