the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
