Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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