ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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