Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
