If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Randomize
