no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
