put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
