A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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