you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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