listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
as a side note pls kill me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
