Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
