i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
