i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
