I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
