I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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