What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Randomize
