some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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