I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
