hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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