That's when you crack a 10am beer
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
