Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
