i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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