Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
