Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
