Non-Jews are for practice
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
