I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm always down for nudity.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
