matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
