Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
