it's too hot outside to masturbate.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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