How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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