he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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