out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
