There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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