yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
