He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
