He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
