I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
