Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
