When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
