I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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