he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
