You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
