Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
