We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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