john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
