He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Drunk is not a location!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
