YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
