He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
